Radiation BURN Update....

This isn't me.
It also isn't my experience but I thought it was a good picture.  There are ladies who have chin burns and neck burns from breast radiation. 

I only have the Gorbi-size thing on my chest, with a couple ring-things on the left side of my lower neck. 

The Gorbi thing is getting serious though.

In the last 2 weeks, I've used the following crap:

Hydrocortisone 1% Plus  (blah)

Lidocaine Ointment (blah)

SSD Cream ("oh, this is the best, my baby loves it, it's a miracle, you'll wake up with the burn GONEEEEEE" - my ass)

Aquaphor (the jury is out, just got sold down the river on this can of goop yesterday)

Jean's Cream ("oh, Jean is an ex breast cancer survivor who whipped this shit up for herself and it worked so well, she went straight to a chemist and had it made up for the world so we could all feel as good as she does" - we'll see, I'm using it for the second day and I think Jean is just another name for big chemical company making lots of money off of women with breast cancer).

Skin MD (part of a "Welcome Package" of miscellaneous goops to use on yourself to try and feel human - just used it today and don't know what it's supposed to do).

Lindi Aloe Gel Pads (great relief after the treatment - 1/8" thick gel pads in a toilet paper type roll - I just cut off a piece and slap it on the wound for a couple hours - I think it's been the most relief, although, I don't know if it has any healing powers - $38/roll - they rip women off everywhere - breast cancer is big business, with the exception of hairdressers).

Lindi Soothing Balm (good hand lotion).

Lindi Body Lotion (real good, thick, serious body lotion).

Scar Zone Cream (I don't know what this stuff is and haven't tried it).

Vitamin E Oil (probably the same as scar zone, although the E oil is doing a bang-up job on the arm where the port was removed.  It was a mess and I thought for sure I'd be scarred up but it seems to be calming down and softening).

My bathroom counter is chock-full of ointments, oils, creams, prescription stuff and over-the-counter stuff.  Nothing is a magic bullet with the exception of knowing that there is just TODAY and TOMORROW, then I'm going to have some Champagne for New Year's Eve and look forward to the day I can post on this blog that "This Blog is Officially Closed."  Soon, soon, soon. 

Radiation Update

TWO MORE DAYS.

Last treatment is Thursday.

THE HAIR MID DECEMBER......Buckle up....

It's been a couple weeks since Fred took these photos and I have a lot more hair now but these photos were handy and I decided to post them.

I'm still wearing the wig, although the hair is starting to show through on the sides and on the forehead. 

It'll be time for a pixie cut or a lesbian cut by Feb/Mar.

THE FIRST TIME -------- EVER I SHAVED MY LEGS.....

Not too far off.
I got out of the shower and lathered my legs with moisturizer, after using a razor for the first time in MONTHS!  I was shocked!  It looked like I did a lousy job.  Too many long, black hairs still staring me in the face.  I checked the razor and it was jammed full and couldn't cut anymore.  What a crack-up.  I've never had long, thick, black hair on my legs in my life - till now.   I look like a construction guy. 

RADIATION "RASH"

The "rash" is my cross to bear in the radiation "journey." 
Some people's nipple goes crooked, some people's breast gets beat up.
I have Gorbechov's birthmark on my chest.



The radiation mark on my chest looks about like Mr. Gorbachev's head thing.
Since I couldn't find a picture of a radiation burn, I thought this would do.
They're about the same, although I doubt he puts Cortizone.10 cream on his spot.

I put this Cortizone.10 cream on the Gorbi spot, which is about 2"x 3" and itches.  After being led to Walmart by everyone I know here, and buying one of everything on the shelf, this is the magic bullet.  I have to apply it about 3 times, very thick, before the itching and burning finally goes away.  The cream is on everything, scarves, night gowns, bathrobes. 

This is just the way it will be till February when it's all over.  Actually, the treatments will be over mid-January but it will take some time for the big mess left behind to go away.  

WHALE BLUBBER

I don't like radiation.  I don't know what's going on in there, what it's doing, what the side affects are.  I do know that everything tastes and feels like whale blubber, with the exception of Trader Joe's single size microwave popcorn with about 3 tablespoons of melted butter poured over it.  I made brownies - they tasted like beef.  There is just a backdraft that takes over when something goes in my mouth.   It doesn't matter what goes in - the backdraft takes over and everything tastes the same or worse.

This isn't Trader Joe's but I'm sure it's good anyway.
Trader Joe's just fits nicely into one of those Rubbermaid tall containers, holds the butter
and sits in the car and stays put.

The NAILS are Soooooo Bad, I can't believe it.....

The finger nails are so bad, they are growing out but the whole front 2/3 of most of them are rotting faster than they can grow out.  One of them even crumbled.  It's grown out a couple weeks so it's not so ugly but, I can't believe the aftermath of chemo on nails.   Chemo ended in October and here we are in December.  Thank heaven for friends in unique places.



Need help with your crumbling, rotting nails?
Ask a pole dancer.


My lovely, beauiful desk mate at Century 21 Moneyworld (Joanna Chua) gave me her nail man's number and address.   He does "gel" nails - nothing like acrylics or silk wraps.  

They're beautiful, smooth, shiny.  She said the "gel" should work because it's so strong and flexible.  So, I'm going to make an appointment with her nail guy.  Hope it works!      

Yes, Joanna is a gorgeous pole dancer at the Peppermint Rhino, the #1 gentlemen's club in LV.
She makes a mint, looks like it too.  I just love sitting next to her.  I learn so much.  She learns a lot from me too because she doesn't want to be a 62 year old pole dancer.














                                    

RADIATION UPDATE......

Well, it's been a couple weeks, granted broken up by Thanksgiving and weekends.  Still, it's beginning to make the left breast a little sunburned.  I'm using the aloe roll daily, and the spermy, soothing, balm.  So far, I'm not uncomfortable or sore.  I "feeeeeel" some warmth on the left breast.

I do enjoy the treatment itself, rather "spa-ish", with the warm blanket and the TLC given by the nurses.

I have been tattoo'd in spots on the neck, chest, arms, just little "x" marks so they can line my body up in the machine to keep the radiation beams from sawing off a leg.  It's ususally two women, or a man and a woman who almost knead me like a ball of dough until I'm situated correctly on this metal bed with warm blankets, then I CANNOT MOVE, PERIOD!  I moved once just to see what would happen and they yelled from afar, "DON'T MOVE!" - I don't know where they were but they sure weren't near me, maybe in a control room or something.

I'm getting very testy with the whole system.  If they say I can't have a later appointment, I tell them to refer me out to someplace else that can meet my needs, and they magically find the time available for me.  (I'm getting a feeling of favoritism in this place - it is classy and they probably have special people who get special care but I've decided to blast their system open till I'm one of the special people who get special care). 

This system  is such that I could not go back to the surgeon who removed the Port which has been a "f'd" up mess and scaring me.  The surgeon's staff told me that
 the protocol is to go to my primary care physician.  At that moment, the pin came out of the grinade and I unloaded on them that their surgeon did the work, it's a mess, and he's going to be the one to look at it and my primary care physician doesn't care what the hell it looks like; she doesn't even know what it is - so, now we are best friends.  They even ask me what channel I want to watch in the waiting room, and the surgeon I got to see was stellar, he gave me his business card with his cell number and said call anytime I'm uncomfortable.  The Port is really ugly and itchy and sore but that's because my body was traumatized by it, has a very deep bruise, I'm allergic to "bandaids" in that area, and it will just take some time.

You have to YELL and SCREAM to get the basic care.  I have the feeling it's "here", however, it may be all over too.  They just do what they have to do and are not accustomed to being questioned about their work.  And, I'm not real impressed with ANYONE I've encountered during this "journey."

There are sooooo many people in Las Vegas, and soooooo many people in the cancer/chemo/radiation journey.  We're all just ants and the loudest squeeking ant gets the grease.  I'll be glad when this is over and I can get into something else.

Lead in......I went to a Fung Shui class at KB Homes Wedesday.  They put on free seminars all the time for agents and Fung Shui is monsterously big here due to all the asians.  The home builders are building homes with the FS needs or they won't sell.  I found it fascinating, so much so that it shook me to me core and I came home and laid down for a couple hours.  I'm going to continue with the courses.  It's not just about houses, it's about your life, your choices, your decisions on what directions to take and the results, the way you're in-flow with energy and things come easy, or the way you're out-of-flow with energy and kind of swimming upstream.  Very interesting.

EYEBROWS AND LESBIAN HAIR!!

A couple nights ago, I tried to rub smudges off my face and discovered the smudges were hundreds of eyebrows.  Hundreds!  Ahhhhh, I can't believe it!  It makes such a difference, just those little things.

Couple eyelashes coming in too.  I don't know why they're so slow.

Lesbian hair will be my first haircut and it'll probably be Feb '11.

My natural color "now" seems to be pure white.

I will not be as cute as this lesbian.

At my workout the other day, while on a machine with my legs stretched out in front, I noticed a ton of hairs and it was almost embarassing.

Chris, my trainer, said, "Well, Merry Christmas JoAnn."