Treatment # Four

Well, here we are, back at the Nevada Cancer Institute. I don't know who these people are. I've already had the Benedryl drip baggie so I feel a little groggy. They also give me Steriods which toss in some fidgetyness. I can hear the Taxotere drip, drip, drip. It'll take about an hour, then the Cytoxin will do it's drip for an hour. They, they give me a drip bag of saline solution I would assume to clean out everything

There is a hose that goes from the Port in my arm all the way up the arm and down into my chest. That's the part they have to clean out. This is just not a pretty thing.

Since it was a hop-skip-and-a-jump from treatment #3 to #4, I would assume it's going to go pretty fast from here on out. The nurse sat with me during the Benedryl drip and asked a slew of questions, I think it was to see if I'm having any of the symptoms on their list of symptoms. I haven't been sick yet, haven't had the tingling fingers or toes yet. Had the diarrhea a few times but learned what to stay away from. Really, just the lack of energy, highly emotional, nightmares, anxiety, fear, all the head-trip stuff. That will go away, or maybe I've just always been that way.

I haven't shaved my head. I wanted to see what is going on, all the way through this. The nurse was surprised I still have hair. What hair is still there is growing. I'll have to trim it at some point. I also have eyebrows which surprised her. The main eyebrows are there, I just have to fill in the ends. A Nordstroms Clinique sales lady taught me how to do that so it looks natural. She also showed me how to line the eyes in "blue" of all colors, but it works during chemo. We got smart and cooked a pile of BBQ ribs last night. Should last a while. Fred should have something to eat for a few says.

Well, I "F*@K"ed up!

Well, here we go again. If I can F!@K up something, I will. I am feeling pretty good today, Monday following treatment. But, Friday was bad, (the week of the treatment) I went to work out at the gym and had NOOOO energy. I could barely even get myself there. Chris, my trainer, was walking to the next exercise and kept turning around to see where I was. I just couldn't get moving. It was the Neulasta shot that causes the flu-like symptoms for a few days. I just fight it. I thought by Friday I could function. I should probably just stay home and lay on the couch and moan and groan like a good little chemo-zombie.

Saturday was almost 1/2 more of a workout than Friday. Chris showed me on his clipboard and it was amazing what I did not do on Friday that I did on Saturday. That Saturday workout really pumps energy into my system. Sunday, in Pylates class, it was a mother of a class, hard as hell (for me), I can tell my muscles are messed up, just want to keep giving out but I tell them to suck it up and just do it. The instructor knows what's going on, and some of the people in the class know too and they're very supportive. One of the ladies went through this in the late 90's and says, "Oh, you'll be fine, just get through it." There are other messed up people in the class and they will still be messed up when I'm done with this chemo/radiation crap.

All's well and I'm feeling better, TILL THIS MORNING, when I talked to Annabelle, the oncologist's nurse. I told her that I felt lousy Thursday and went to Dr Milne for a vitamin drip and she said, "Oh, we don't want you to do that - we aren't sure if the vitamins, etc. feeds the cancer - there's no clinical testing done on that yet." So, I guess I'll hear from the oncologist at some point. In the meantime, I feel good and this week should just get better. Well, I won't be doing anymore vitamin drips at Dr Milne's. I'm "supposed" to feel like crap, it's in the plan. So, crap it will be. I left Annabelle a message because I've been thinking about this and am afraid now that I'll have to redo the chemo drips that I messed up with the vitamin drips.

What a "F*!King" mess!

If anybody knows anything about "vitamins feeding cancer cells", please tell me.....thx!