"Peach Fuzz".....

Finally.....peach fuzz.
After a shower, I usually just keep going, make-up, wig, the usual stuff.  The oncologist's nurse said not to expect hair for a couple months.

This morning, my head looked different so I ran my hands over it.  I always "wash" it and "condition" it and after a shower, I always "brush" it, even though there's nothing there.  I just want to keep it in the habit of the attention. 

My hands felt a complete coating of hair; it's pure white, about 1/4" long, maybe not quite, seems real dense.  It all points forward for now, hope it doesn't stay that way.

I was just happy to see it.

No new eyelashes or eyebrows yet.  Taking care of the ones I have, which are few but there's still something to work off of.


 

The Last Treatment - They All Said Happy Graduation

Well, it's finally here.  Today went fast for me, although it dragged for Fred.  We not only had the treatment which takes about 3 hours but also the vitals, the blood draw, and the meeting with the oncologist's nurses. 

They said the green pea thing probably just stopped the blood from flowing in the tips of the nails which made them discolor and separate from the skin.  Fortunately, it's only the front half and it'll grow out.  I just keep layers and layers of polish on them. 

I spent the whole time on the computer this treatment time.  All 3 hours.  Trying to find urban lofts for a lady moving here from Long Beach.  Not easy to find. 



Left hand painted



Right hand not painted,
the front half has
lifted off the skin.





I guess this is the
left hand again.
Oh well.
Painted.



Left hand,
That black spot has grown
way out.  It started half
way back.



So much for sticking your fingers into bags of frozen peas. 

I felt good enough to cook dinner tonight, but after the Neulasta shot tomorrow, may let Fred go to Panda Express.

Tomorrow at 10:30, I have an appointment with the Radiation doctor to get up to speed on that.   According to my Oncologist, the radiation should start the first of November and end by the end of the year. 

My nails want to grow, I can tell.  My hair can start to grow now.  This gastly chemical can fade away.  The sugar craving can go away, although my blood sugar was 117 this morning after eating breakfast which isn't that bad.  My ankles are swollen from the steroids, my cheeks are pretty pink from the steroids and I'm up at 10:00PM writing on this blog because of the steroids.  I have to take two more pills tomorrow, am and afternoon.  That's it.

I'm heading back to Dr Milne for a vitamin drip - although I have to say that Trader Joe's EMERGEN-C has kept my spirits and energy pretty high.  I got turned onto that from a lady in Pilates class who went through chemo too.  She said it worked for her so I bought some. 

Enough for tonight.

Thanks for staying with me during this chemical journey. 

Next stage is recovery.

Then, radiation.  I'll be doing the Milne vitamin drip and the Hyperbaric Oxygen thing to tackle the radiation's attempt to kill me.




Well, Well, Well, the cancer cell/seed shows it's ugly litle head....

I "effing" am beginning to get it.  My friend, in LA, mentioned that she still had an appetite for sweets during Chemo.  That stuck with me.

IIIIIIIIII usually don't give a #$%^ about sweets.  I'm a salt animal.  However, this little journey has led me down the See's candy path, the Frappuccino path, the Gelato path, the Haagen Daz path.  And, there's always a piece of candy in my purse.  I didn't get it.  I have always snuck Lays Potato Chips, not See's candy.  Well, it's the cancer cells talking.  Therefore, there must be some in there.  And, I am going to KILLLLLL them!  (I don't really know that there are any in there but to have a sweet tooth where there was none is suspicious).

I Googled cancer and sugar today and it turns out it's a marriage made in heaven.  Cancer cells beg for sugar.  They beg for carbs that convert to sugar.  They like fermentation.  They HATE oxygen.  You CAN achieve the hateful level of oxygen by working out till your breathing goes real deep.  That's what cancer cells hate.   And, that's what kills them.

This is a cancer cell - ain't it pretty?  Can you just imagine it rolling up a $20 bill and snorting some sugar??

These oncologists won't tell us that.  I got this from Johns Hopkins website.  It did say that the standard of care (Chemo and Radiation are effective).  So far, so good.  But, it did say all over the place that SUGAR and CANCER are buddies.  They LOVE each other.  Cancer yells at the body to bring on the sugar.  Oh, and stay away from chocolate, coffee (that may be tough) - go for the green tea.  Stay away from red meats - they ferment and cancer cells just LOVE fermentation - possibly why women are told to keep the wine down.  Fermentation.  

The site said stick to veggies, fruits, fish, chicken - it didn't say anything about cheese but I'd bet it ferments.  Lay low on pork and beef.

I have got to get into that Hyper Barric Chamber for the full-on oxygen.

I did notice that the food & beverage tray at Nevada Cancer Institute does NOT have anything with sugar on it - Fig Newtons - those are practically broccoli.    I've really gotten a heck of a lot of information today. 

To be fair, the site did say that being an unforgiving person ignites cancer cells too.  Also, being angry can do it.  Cancer cells are always floating around inside us; it just takes something to make them multiply so they can be seen.  Then it's too late.

We're going to see the Lion King tonight.  Border Grill for dinner.  What the hell will I eat there?  It's piles and piles of food.  At least it's not sugar. 

The Peas

Two Bags, one for each hand, for AN HOUR, and we'll see if it does any good for the finger nails or not.
Towards the end, it got easier because the ice was gone and the peas were not as cold. 

The Cytoxin is dripping now.  It takas an hour.  Then I get a clean out drip for 20 minutes, then we're outa here.  Only one more to go.  I can't believe it.  It will be interesting to see if the sweet tooth comes to and end.

Chemo Treatment #5

Just got the Benedryl and am starting to feel woozy.
The steroids and anti-nausia are next.  Then, the Taxotere and I'll stick my fingers in the frozen peas.
The peas are in a small cooler with ice.  Kind of like we're medics carrying some torn off body part or something. 

I asked the nurse to advise me when she starts with Taxotere and told her why.  She said she had one patient with real long pretty hair that insisted in wearing a frozen cap on her head during the whole treatment so she could keep her hair.  She would have to keep packing it with ice.  It worked but she had headaches. 

I don't look like this lady in the photo.  Of course, I don't have a great head of hair.  I'm wearing my chemo dress.  Bought it at JJill specifically for chemo day.

It's a very long, orange, sleeveless tank top that's really a long dress.  My head gear is a jungle flowery, very colorful, thing that just slips on my head and it has long tails in the back that I make a big bow out of.  Hoop earrings, a bracelet from JoAnna Chu, who sits next to me at work and some sox.  I also have a big straw hat from Nordi's for the outside.  I am very "uptown" at the chemo place.  I wear the same thing every treatment day.  It's my chemo outfit. 

They say my potassium is a tad low so they're waiting on the Taxotere till they get the okay.  I have to eat more baked potatos and avacados.  Heck, that's easy.  Even Vons has great baked potato soup.  They didn't say I'd have to eat more Haagen Daz vanilla chocolate chip ice cream - they must have forgotten.  Good think I remembered.  They did say more milk.  That's how I take my milk.

For some reason, I have a sweet tooth during this chemo "journey."  Before, I just didn't even think about it.  I was always a salt freak.  Quite the opposite now.  I went to Whole Foods yesterday and bought two pints of Mint Choc Chip Gelato, and one pint of Haagen Daz vanilla chocolate chip ice cream.  Haazen Daz has way more chips, big ones.  But, this particular Gelato has tunnels of chips that you just have to keep digging and digging and pretty soon, it's all gone.  Oh, then it's also time to fix something for dinner. 

Time for the Taxotere - bye.

Saturday, 9/4, was BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAAAAD!

It just got worse from Friday afternoon on.

About 5:00 Friday, after the movie and before dinner, I started developing rashes, hives, welts, spots. I blew it off and went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. By the time we got home, I was miserable. Fred pulled out all his medicines and one seemed to work. Then I took a Benedryl capspule, drank some Benedryl cough syrup and by the morning was okay to go to 24 Hour. The workout seemed to sweat out a lot of stuff.

This workout was, as promised by Chris the trainer, about 20 minutes on a punching bag. He tought me how to hold my hands in the gloves and where to punch. Get this, by the time I had to sign out for the day, my right hand for signing was smooth. The tingling on the fingers wasn't there. We decided to make it part of the workout. It's more exhausting than the regular workout but it seems to get blood flowing in the hands.

So many of the exercises are hanging onto grips but the punching bag is just plowing the heck out of whatever is on my mind. He makes me do it for a full minute then stop for a couple minutes. He keeps yelling, "harder, harder, harder, I want to see a hole in that bag." So, I punch and punch in 3's. I understand why professionals wind up hugging the bag. At about 45 seconds, I'm hugging the bag. I think he may be onto something that benefits Chemo Hands. We're going to work on it some more.Chemo hands are tingly, weird feeling finger tips that have a hard time buttoning clothes and just being in general on-target. The results of this exercise blew us both away.

Back to Saturday hives. After returning home from 24 Hour, at about 11Am, I did my usual sit down and eat a couple containers of watermelon. Then some leftover enchilada. The hives started coming back. My inner thies were just one big blister. It kept spreading into my armpits, back of my knees. I decided to go to one of the walk-in emergency clinics. After about an hour and a half of waiting, I finally got in. By the time I was seen, my whole back was one big hive, all the way around my sides, down my bum, all over the legs, the stomach, ears. I was sitting in that doctor's waiting room acting like a nut in "One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest." I got a Steriod shot in the left rear cheek, picked up 3 more prescriptions. My prescription list is starting to look like the Constitution. Fortunately, they come and go. One is for more Prednisone, which I just finished 8/1. One is for an anti-histamine and one is for some stomach acid. Blah, blah, blah. I'm quite sure it's the Tatotere that I'm probably allergic to. All this was recorded by the Dr on duty at the Nevada Cancer Institute and was sent to my oncologist who I'll probably hear from on Tuesday.

This morning, Sunday, the hives were on my knees, legs, feet, and a tiny bit on my face. Thanks to Fred, he went out last night and got some Caladryl Clear which seems to work. It's taken a couple hours but my knees and feet have cleared up.

I don't know what the result of this will be when the 3-day weekend is over but I'm expecting to either have the Taxotere dosage dropped again, or just be on steroids and prednisone till the chemo treatment is done.

I also don't know why I cannot get these paragraphs to have a simple space between them.

Well, I "F*@K"ed up!

Well, here we go again. If I can F!@K up something, I will. I am feeling pretty good today, Monday following treatment. But, Friday was bad, (the week of the treatment) I went to work out at the gym and had NOOOO energy. I could barely even get myself there. Chris, my trainer, was walking to the next exercise and kept turning around to see where I was. I just couldn't get moving. It was the Neulasta shot that causes the flu-like symptoms for a few days. I just fight it. I thought by Friday I could function. I should probably just stay home and lay on the couch and moan and groan like a good little chemo-zombie.

Saturday was almost 1/2 more of a workout than Friday. Chris showed me on his clipboard and it was amazing what I did not do on Friday that I did on Saturday. That Saturday workout really pumps energy into my system. Sunday, in Pylates class, it was a mother of a class, hard as hell (for me), I can tell my muscles are messed up, just want to keep giving out but I tell them to suck it up and just do it. The instructor knows what's going on, and some of the people in the class know too and they're very supportive. One of the ladies went through this in the late 90's and says, "Oh, you'll be fine, just get through it." There are other messed up people in the class and they will still be messed up when I'm done with this chemo/radiation crap.

All's well and I'm feeling better, TILL THIS MORNING, when I talked to Annabelle, the oncologist's nurse. I told her that I felt lousy Thursday and went to Dr Milne for a vitamin drip and she said, "Oh, we don't want you to do that - we aren't sure if the vitamins, etc. feeds the cancer - there's no clinical testing done on that yet." So, I guess I'll hear from the oncologist at some point. In the meantime, I feel good and this week should just get better. Well, I won't be doing anymore vitamin drips at Dr Milne's. I'm "supposed" to feel like crap, it's in the plan. So, crap it will be. I left Annabelle a message because I've been thinking about this and am afraid now that I'll have to redo the chemo drips that I messed up with the vitamin drips.

What a "F*!King" mess!

If anybody knows anything about "vitamins feeding cancer cells", please tell me.....thx!

WE TOOK THE WEEK OFF

We're at the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City, Utah. This is a good week, the one prior to treatment #3, on Monday, 8/9. Then, Tuesday is the Neulesta shot and I'll feel like I have the flu for the day. Then, we'll see if the decrease in the Taxotere and the extra steroids will keep the sides of the hands from burning. Man, that first week is lousy. I don't even want to cook, shop, anything. It'll probably be our Panda Express, El Pollo Loco week.

Through this hand burning experience, I did find this killer moisturizer called "Lindi". I found it on Google, bought some and it came from New York City, then I found out the Nevada Cancer Institute has the whole line in their gift shop so I bought almost the whole line. They even have a bath gel that works real well on my poor bald head. They have eye gel, face gel, hand cream, body cream, and it's all real deep acting and absorbent.

This last week before treatment is really quite normal, with the exception of the fancy head gear and the smashing wig which I'm getting pretty good at whipping on in a minute. I had a massage this afternoon while Fred played golf. It was probably the best I've ever had. It felt so good on the hands and feet - he even worked on my head and face. Yes, he. I was a little apprehensive but it was an out-of-body experience some of the time.

We're going to a mountain steak house tonight for dinner before the play. I'll probably have wine. Wine does NOT work at all the week of treatment or the week after. But, this week it's rather elegant. After some wine and a steak, and a massage, I'll probably sleep through the play.