The Wig

Radiation begins......

Started radiation Wednesday.

Machine broke down Thursday.

Resumed Friday.

I get a CT scan first, then the radiation.

Takes about 13 minutes altogether.

I walk in, hand the guy my ID, slip into

the dressing room, change from the

waist up, go sit in a chair, they call me,

I lay down on the machine, they push

and pull till I'm in there right, then the

bed moves halfway into the donut.

It sounds like I'm laying in the middle

of a kid's choo choo train track. 

It sounds like a little choo choo train is

going round and round and round.

They said the effect is cumulative and I'll get more and more tired as we go. 

This picture is of a different type machine than I go into.  It's close enough.

My appt is 4:20 every weekday.  I cannot wear deodorant or skin lotion.  I said, "Why not."

They said, "Because you'll catch on fire." 

Port was Removed Monday

The Port came out Monday.
It wasn't what I thought.
It was plastic and a "skinny" hose about a foot and a half long, went up my arm and down into my chest.  Phew, glad that stupid thing is gone.

It was kind of interesting.
As I was walking down the corridor to get to the in/out surgery room, everybody kept saying "congratulations, congratulations."  I guess "getting the Port out is a milestone."

Energy is returning. 

Wow, my wig sure looks better than this hair. 

Start radiation next Wednesday.  It'll probably last till the first week of January, then I'm freeeeeee.  Actually,
I'll start a pill that will last 5 years.  I think that's all.

DRUGS......

The Chemo should be out of the system by now.
I'm starting to drop the anti-anxiety drugs by half.  Daytime anti-anxiety drug does nothing so the daytime anxiety must be about gone.  I can take full breaths without yawning; that's sort of my clue.  The week of Chemo, I had to yawn to get a full breath.

Nighttime anxiety is a little more aggressive.  I've cut the drug in half and wake up several times with my mind in a dark place.  It takes concentration to get back to sleep.  The dreams are dark;  I've made a real effort to to recall them - challenge them - if they can be that dark, surely, I should be able to remember them, but, no.  Although, this morning, I did catch one enough to know that it was about work.  Couldn't hang onto it. 

I had already stopped one drug cold turkey because I ran out and was in Long Beach.  The nurse said, "No, no, you can't stop that one cold turkey!".  I said, "Well, I already did and I'm still here."  She said, "Refill, start again and let the oncologist take you off it."  Oh, gee, okay.  I don't get what could have happened by stopping cold turkey.  I'm getting sick of these drugs and want them gone, except the ones I like. 

"Peach Fuzz".....

Finally.....peach fuzz.
After a shower, I usually just keep going, make-up, wig, the usual stuff.  The oncologist's nurse said not to expect hair for a couple months.

This morning, my head looked different so I ran my hands over it.  I always "wash" it and "condition" it and after a shower, I always "brush" it, even though there's nothing there.  I just want to keep it in the habit of the attention. 

My hands felt a complete coating of hair; it's pure white, about 1/4" long, maybe not quite, seems real dense.  It all points forward for now, hope it doesn't stay that way.

I was just happy to see it.

No new eyelashes or eyebrows yet.  Taking care of the ones I have, which are few but there's still something to work off of.