Chemo diarrhea (CD) isn't like regular-people diarrhea (RPD). I have a hard time explaining RPD because it's been a long time, however, CD sort of launches from the tippy top of the twenty-some-odd feet of small intestine and joy-rides down, twisting and turning like it's bobsledding.
(I can't figure out how to delete this Rainbird sprinkler)
Saturday evening, Fred and I decided to try a new Tai Food restaurant recommended by neighbors. We were practically the only ones in there which should have been a clue. The waitress asked how spicy (on a scale of 1 - 10) we wanted our Mongolian Beef and Pad Tai. We said, "Oh, we'll take a 5 - that sounds good." Boy, am I a fool. All the literature I've read about CD has warned against spicy food. The Mongolian Beef (MB) was put on the table and I got a huge whiff of the ginger, too much. The Pad Tai went down fine, sweet and spicy. Then I ate some of the MB and it went down fine, I thought. Moments later I felt rumbling at the top. Then, the MB lauched. I couldn't believe what was happening. It was jamming at record speed, like a bobsledder in the Winter Olympics. Would I have time to even warn Fred that I was about to explode? He was eating his food peacefully, totally unaware I was about to detonate. I shoved the chair back, told him I was about to explode and ran away from the table. Never having been there before, I didn't know where the bathroom was or if it was decent or what. Like a heat-seeking missile, I ran right into the door, it was private, nice, clean, all mine. Lesson learned.
OK JoAnn ~ I seriously think you need to be a stand up comedian! Your sense of humor is refreshing and I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog. I'm glad that you can have a sense of humor about all these things that are happening to you ~ it's gotta help you get thru all this crap! Glad you made it to the potty and all was okay. Each day seems to be a learning experience for you, huh? Keep your sense of humor alive and well and you'll be just fine my lovely lady friend. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteJoAnn - I am laughing out loud. Thanks for my morning funny!
ReplyDeleteSo you couldn't delete the rain bird? Perhaps you felt you needed one after the toboggan ride from h*ll. Great dieting trick - you get to eat and nothing stays long enough to get absorbed... (OK, so it's not the best thing) Be careful of the spicy; it comes out spicy, too. Smoochies!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the rain bird picture signifies that you feel that cancer is raining on your parade??
ReplyDeleteMaybe the rain bird is a new term for the "squirts," or as Scott calls it the 'Hershey Squirts!"
ReplyDeleteI hope you stopped at Coldstone for Dessert! That might cool things off.
The Coldstone dessert sounds absolutely fabulous! Tell Scott, this is no Hershey Squirt....this is a toxic meltdown of epic proportions. Yes, making fun of the symptoms, and the unbelievable reality that life has become seems to make each new day refreshing and open to getting out there and living it. I'm so glad my cousins and girlfriends are along for the ride.
ReplyDeleteWe wouldn't consider letting you take this trip alone! A good sense of humor is God's gift to help us face reality and I'd say God has given you quite a gift!
ReplyDelete