BAG BALM

This is kind of cute. When I was at the clinic getting my burnt hands looked at, the oncologist told Fred to go to a store and buy Bag Balm to put on my hands. Fred found it.

On one side of the jar, it reads, "After each milking, apply thoroughly and allow coating to remain on surface."

On another side of the jar, it reads, "For use on cows, thoroughly wash treated teats and udder with separate towels before each milking. To avoid contamination after each milking, bathe the udder with plenty of hot water, strip milk out and dry skin. Apply BAG BALM freely and massage gently with this proven ointment twice daily."

And, on another side it reads, "Since 1899 BAG BALM has been the farmer's friend helping keep dairy cows from becoming chapped from the harsh Vermont environment. It's like having another hand on the farm or a helper around the house."

So, there you have it. It is breast-related.

Today Things Feel Normal

I've been told by family and friends that the third week, just before the next treatment, I'll start to feel good. That would be today. I feel the air again and can hear the birds. I'm not hot - cold - hot - cold. Just kind of balanced. The next treatment is 8/9 and that will be the half-way mark for the chemo. Almost half way there. After this adjustment in the Taxotere, I don't expect anymore dramatic side-affects. There haven't been any problems (allergies) to the Cytoxin yet.

Back to the NV Cancer Institute - Chemo Backfired!

Sunburns, who would have guessed. Both hands started burning on the sides. It started itching and burning but I didn't scratch because who knows what could come from that. The heel of my left foot swelled up and burned like heck. Luckily, I had two ice packs and used them for a couple days. Then, my left cheek started getting sunburned. Then, the right hand started blistering. Even my expensive Clinique yellow moisturizer didn't work.

So, back to the clinic. This time, the oncologist wanted to see me vs. all the other assistants he usually has me see. Turns out, I was getting much too much of the Taxotere chemo. There's Taxotere and Cytoxin. They're separate drips. They measure by 1.00 - 2.00, and he's been giving me 1.70 so he's dropping it to 1.00 and said it won't interfere with the effectiveness but it'll stop the burning and itching.

Don't know if I blogged about the stuff creeping up my shins or not. Had to go back to the clinic Tuesday for that. Simple shot glass or two of Benedryl childrens elixir at night has that clearing up. It was an allergy to the Taxotere.

I feel much better today. And, of course, they always toss in another drug to take at night. Supposed to stop the feeling of tingling in the hands and arms.

I guess this is how it goes. We just tweek and tweek and tweek. But, the good news is the next treatment will be the third of six. Most of the symptom stuff wil be worked out.

I really had a much better clip to put at the top but it wouldn't transfer from my file.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE CHIP FRAPPUCCINO

It's worth every penny and every pound. It tastes like heaven, not like snot and not like metal. There are just enough chunks of chocolate chips so I don't feel cheated. I don't even know what it costs, who cares.

Had to Get an IV Drip Yesterday

I felt like I was going to constantly faint yesterday and, fortunately, had already scheduled an appointment with Dr. Milne for a 1-1/2 hour drip filled with tons of vitamin B's, amino acids and minerals. I kept feeling better and better and better. Today, back to the faint stuff. It may be lack of water. I haven't been drinking gobbs of water like I ususally do, especially in this heat.

It's about 9PM Wed night and I feel much better after a couple bottles of water. I recall "them" saying that chemo dehydrates the body.

I FINALLY WENT TO A SUPPORT GROUP......

Big wow.

I went Monday night.

Just forgot to blog about it. The excitement must have caused a power outage in my brain.

There were probably 10-12 women there. Only 3 of us who belonged. The rest were post-chemo by 4-5-7 years. I'm trying to get into my head why, after surviving chemo, would you stick around. Possibly it's due to the pills you have to take for up to 5 years to drain the estrogen and get a totally clean bill of health. That's all I can think of. There must be better things to do every first and third Monday night.

There were all different stories. Lots of advise. Only some dry cookies to eat. Some really bad stories.

Bad stores about bad doctors, bad husbands, and one lady has just about given up because she got such a bad mis-diagnosis, and actually two women who were led down the wrong path by their doctors who told them them were clean, "Hey, ya still got your tits!", and it turned out after coming to Nevada Cancer Institute and being examined, they indeed have breast cancer.

All along this way, I've been told by people from out of nowhere to grill my doctors. I pretty much have and did run into an arrogant prick. I went the opposite direction.

I'll go back one more time to this group because it's only a couple minutes from home. BUTTTT, I'm so not into the "sisterhood" bullshit that they try to get us into. I don't really care to swap spit with a support group. IF you've ever watched "FRINGE", the TV show, I just care to enter that world through the currently available portal, listen and learn, eat the dry cookies, then find the portal out and leave.

24 Hour Fitness after Treatment #2

This training routine was challenging before Chemo. As I understand, Chemo builds. #2 makes everything more challenging and, apparently, #3 is when I'll hit the wall. At that point, I'll go to Dr. Milne for a lengthy injection of vitamins and minerals.

I almost hit the floor many, many times yesterday morning. Chris, my trainer, is very smart. He's paying attention and switches things around when it looks like I'm in bad shape. I do 3 repetitions of each exercise. After rep #1, he made me sit for 60 seconds. Then, I'd do rep #2 and afterwards sit for 30 seconds. After rep #3, I'd sit for 10 seconds, then on to the next exercise. It worked very well, however, I could tell that the first workout after a treatment, causes a lot of energy to rise from the dead. The energy starting to flow again is what causes me to get unstable. That loss of energy from a treatment and the flu-like symptoms that follow is huge.

Today, Saturday, the workout should be more energetic, then Sunday's pylates class should be good too. Next week should be just fine, as energy will be flowing again.

Monday was Treatment #2 and no big deal

I slept through a lot of it and they had to wake me up. That night, the usual hyper-activity from the steroids. That's the night I take a double dose of Ambien and Zanax. That barely even does the trick. It's just a wild night. I kept an Excel spreadsheet of the symptoms after Treatment #1 and they seem to be repeating themselves. Yesterday, at the office, I did have to take one of the anti-nausia pills because I was walking back from the restroom and felt like I was on an airplane with turbulance. New symptoms from Treatment #2 are itchy hands and chicken pox looking bumps on my shins, and they itch. It will be interesting to see if they go away in a few days.

Tuesday, Felt like .....

Got the Nulasta shot on Tuesday, that's the one that forces the bones to make white blood cells. I guess they weren't going to wait a week like last time; the shot was one day after the chemo treatment. Afterwards, I stopped at Starbucks and got an iced, chocolate something-er-other. Sure was good. Went back to work for a couple hours then by 5:00, I got home, hit the couch and wrapped up with a couple aphgan things and couldn't stop shaking. I made it upstairs, changed into winter clothes, put on my warmest bandana, a sweater, some fuzzy slippers and a scarf and felt like I could not get warm enough. We decided to take this photo on the front porch, being as it was still about 105 outside. It felt pretty good.

Treatment #2 is Monday, 7/21

Just for the record, this past week, I've felt even better than normal, if it weren't for the "hair." It may be that the symptoms will kick in the first week after the treatment, then wear off till the next one. Thank you for being here - I love your input and promise to keep up the blogging. Next Treatment is Monday, 7/21, 9:20AM. See ya there, Love, JoAnn

I Got Annointed by a Cast of Mormons.....

Yes, my cousin, Ronnie (Geneva's son) is a powerful Mormon from Kingman, Az. He called last night - Fred picked up - and he announced that he and another Mormon were going to arrive at our home today (Saturday) about 3PM to pour oil on my head and pray around it. Well, he arrived with three powerful Mormons and between Ronnie and two of the other three, they got the job done. I sat in a chair, Ronnie dropped some oil on my head and they got to praying. It only took 10 minutes. Also, Ronnie emailed my name around the world to all the Mormon temples. They write my name on a piece of paper and toss it onto the floor with the other names on paper - people who are dead or ill - and the Mormons circle around the papers and pray. That will last for 2 weeks. He said, "They're even praying in Afganistan for you to get well." Interesting afternoon. I guess I'll have to reciprocate and pray for some of the Americans in Afganistan.

Well, the Day Came.....

It fell out in giganto wads. The bathroom floor brought up handfuls when I cleaned it on my hands and knees to get it all. It's just about over. There are a few sprigs which I keep around to stick out of bandanas. My head itches. It kind of feels good at night when I lay in bed, bald, and just let the overhead fan blow on it.

The Girls are Ready!

It's just falling, falling, falling out. Just tons of hair on my neck, shoulders, arms. I'm wearing a chemo bandana out of desperation. We should have cut it off earlier today but I wanted to keep it as long as possible. The shower took it's toll. There was still enough to blow dry and probably to get away with another day but the globs of hair that snarled together in the towel were really hard to get untangled. They fell off my head like kitty furballs. I cleaned the floor on my hands and knees and picked up layers of hair. Oh well, the Girls are ready for tomorrow.

Well, it was bound to happen......

I just didn't know how or when. They said two weeks. It's been "thirteen days." My poor head has been itching for about a week. I've been using the tube of conditioner that's in the Loreal hair color boxes. It's always seemed like the magic bullet when my hair is dry. It does feel real silky and shines like gold, as it cascades down my arms and into the atmosphere. If I consciously pull a handful of hair, I get a handful of hair. Just between yesterday afternoon and this morning, I've probably pulled out 300 hairs. I have a 9:30 appointment at the office today so I'll have to shower in a few minutes. Who knows what will be left on my head after that. The wigs are ready. I'm not real happy with the scarves; can't seem to find the plain old paisley red or paisley blue, like we wore when we were kids. I have the chemo scarves but even chemo gals aren't wearing those. They're very dowdy. I'll go to the wig shop this afternoon when I'm finished with the client and see what's new. Good news though....after getting that shot Monday to boost the white blood cells, it was supposed to make me miserable, bones ache, sick, ....but, so far, Advil has knocked that out and I've been very busy.

First Follow-Up after First Chemo

On 7/6, they took 5 viles of blood. Then they put them into a spinner machine that spits out a report. The report shows my red and white blood cell count compared to a normal "range." The red were slightly down, to be expected, and quite fine.

The white count was .9 in a range of 4.00 - 5.50. So, I had to have a shot of Neulasta. We had to wait several hours for the insurance to okay it, which they did. Fred looked it up on-line and it cost $7,000. It was a teeny-weeny shot in the tummy. No big deal. The side affects could be sore bones because the shot causes the bones to force-produce white blood cells. The count has to be high enough in order to be able to take Chemo #2.

We were chuckling at the sick-ass people jammed in the waiting room, then we realized we're part of them. I have to start looking at sick-ass people like friends. This is a whole new reality.

The rest of the follow-up appointment was with a hemotologist who is also an oncology nurse. She goes over symptoms and writes prescriptions. Anxiety is still my biggest problem so she told me the Rolling Stones like Valium but I could have it or Ativen. I chose Ativen, however, next visit I may follow the Rolling Stones. Other than that, she said the fact that I brought a "spreadsheet" listing all my daily symptons, tells her that there's no reason to call an ambulance. She also said she kind of felt for my poor wonderful husband.

Diarrhea - IT Happens!

Chemo diarrhea (CD) isn't like regular-people diarrhea (RPD). I have a hard time explaining RPD because it's been a long time, however, CD sort of launches from the tippy top of the twenty-some-odd feet of small intestine and joy-rides down, twisting and turning like it's bobsledding.

(I can't figure out how to delete this Rainbird sprinkler)

Saturday evening, Fred and I decided to try a new Tai Food restaurant recommended by neighbors. We were practically the only ones in there which should have been a clue. The waitress asked how spicy (on a scale of 1 - 10) we wanted our Mongolian Beef and Pad Tai. We said, "Oh, we'll take a 5 - that sounds good." Boy, am I a fool. All the literature I've read about CD has warned against spicy food. The Mongolian Beef (MB) was put on the table and I got a huge whiff of the ginger, too much. The Pad Tai went down fine, sweet and spicy. Then I ate some of the MB and it went down fine, I thought. Moments later I felt rumbling at the top. Then, the MB lauched. I couldn't believe what was happening. It was jamming at record speed, like a bobsledder in the Winter Olympics. Would I have time to even warn Fred that I was about to explode? He was eating his food peacefully, totally unaware I was about to detonate. I shoved the chair back, told him I was about to explode and ran away from the table. Never having been there before, I didn't know where the bathroom was or if it was decent or what. Like a heat-seeking missile, I ran right into the door, it was private, nice, clean, all mine. Lesson learned.

Thursday Night - Symptoms started coming on....

Last night (Thursday) the flu symptoms came on strong. They were coming on all day but I was working and was able to work through them. Once I got home and started dinner, oh brother, did I feel rotten. The booklet provided by Nevada Cancer Institute said the flu symptoms might stick around for 1 - 3 days. Thursday was day one. Muscle aches, headache, CHILLS - yes, for the first time since menopause, I had chills. I even pulled the comforter out of the closet and bundled up at 9:00! Woke up this morning feeling like I was 85, pulled myself out of bed and got going. My wonderful Fred said, "Try some Aleve". Okay, I did and about 50% of the symptoms got better throughout the day. We even went to see the new Michael Cane movie (Harry Brown). I've never tried Aleve before. It's my new best friend, along with Zanax and Ambien.

Pigeon Poop

Gotta get some new flip-flops today. This morning, walking outside on the back patio, I noticed big wads of pigeon poop, just kind of hither and yawn. Maybe looks a little like the Louisianna shoreline these days. I am used to just walking across it. Then, I walk inside the house with the same flip-flops. With the white blood cell count going down, this may have to change too. Don't know how I'll fix that, may have to hose it off every night, or just stay off the back patio. It will take another week and a half for the white blood cells to be kind of low. This is starting to look like I've moved to Neptune and must adhere to their living standards. I can see why some say the hair loss will not be your biggest problem.

STARTING TO GET WEIRD FEELINGS...

Yesterday, I was outside too much, going from the car to vacant houses with no electricity, showing them to a client. It was 108 degrees here yesterday. By the time I got home, it felt like my chest was wrapped tight and there was a noose around my neck. It took a long time to wind down and feel even somewhat okay. I think it was the extreme heat. That activity will come to an end. Today, I have a doctor appt with my primary care physician - just a follow up, although I'll let her know about yesterday. Oh, just the heat exposure, mind you, just the heat caused my skin on my upper stomach to sunburn. It wasn't even exposed to the sun but it clearly is a sunburn.