Radiation BURN Update....

This isn't me.
It also isn't my experience but I thought it was a good picture.  There are ladies who have chin burns and neck burns from breast radiation. 

I only have the Gorbi-size thing on my chest, with a couple ring-things on the left side of my lower neck. 

The Gorbi thing is getting serious though.

In the last 2 weeks, I've used the following crap:

Hydrocortisone 1% Plus  (blah)

Lidocaine Ointment (blah)

SSD Cream ("oh, this is the best, my baby loves it, it's a miracle, you'll wake up with the burn GONEEEEEE" - my ass)

Aquaphor (the jury is out, just got sold down the river on this can of goop yesterday)

Jean's Cream ("oh, Jean is an ex breast cancer survivor who whipped this shit up for herself and it worked so well, she went straight to a chemist and had it made up for the world so we could all feel as good as she does" - we'll see, I'm using it for the second day and I think Jean is just another name for big chemical company making lots of money off of women with breast cancer).

Skin MD (part of a "Welcome Package" of miscellaneous goops to use on yourself to try and feel human - just used it today and don't know what it's supposed to do).

Lindi Aloe Gel Pads (great relief after the treatment - 1/8" thick gel pads in a toilet paper type roll - I just cut off a piece and slap it on the wound for a couple hours - I think it's been the most relief, although, I don't know if it has any healing powers - $38/roll - they rip women off everywhere - breast cancer is big business, with the exception of hairdressers).

Lindi Soothing Balm (good hand lotion).

Lindi Body Lotion (real good, thick, serious body lotion).

Scar Zone Cream (I don't know what this stuff is and haven't tried it).

Vitamin E Oil (probably the same as scar zone, although the E oil is doing a bang-up job on the arm where the port was removed.  It was a mess and I thought for sure I'd be scarred up but it seems to be calming down and softening).

My bathroom counter is chock-full of ointments, oils, creams, prescription stuff and over-the-counter stuff.  Nothing is a magic bullet with the exception of knowing that there is just TODAY and TOMORROW, then I'm going to have some Champagne for New Year's Eve and look forward to the day I can post on this blog that "This Blog is Officially Closed."  Soon, soon, soon. 

Radiation Update

TWO MORE DAYS.

Last treatment is Thursday.

THE HAIR MID DECEMBER......Buckle up....

It's been a couple weeks since Fred took these photos and I have a lot more hair now but these photos were handy and I decided to post them.

I'm still wearing the wig, although the hair is starting to show through on the sides and on the forehead. 

It'll be time for a pixie cut or a lesbian cut by Feb/Mar.

THE FIRST TIME -------- EVER I SHAVED MY LEGS.....

Not too far off.
I got out of the shower and lathered my legs with moisturizer, after using a razor for the first time in MONTHS!  I was shocked!  It looked like I did a lousy job.  Too many long, black hairs still staring me in the face.  I checked the razor and it was jammed full and couldn't cut anymore.  What a crack-up.  I've never had long, thick, black hair on my legs in my life - till now.   I look like a construction guy. 

RADIATION "RASH"

The "rash" is my cross to bear in the radiation "journey." 
Some people's nipple goes crooked, some people's breast gets beat up.
I have Gorbechov's birthmark on my chest.



The radiation mark on my chest looks about like Mr. Gorbachev's head thing.
Since I couldn't find a picture of a radiation burn, I thought this would do.
They're about the same, although I doubt he puts Cortizone.10 cream on his spot.

I put this Cortizone.10 cream on the Gorbi spot, which is about 2"x 3" and itches.  After being led to Walmart by everyone I know here, and buying one of everything on the shelf, this is the magic bullet.  I have to apply it about 3 times, very thick, before the itching and burning finally goes away.  The cream is on everything, scarves, night gowns, bathrobes. 

This is just the way it will be till February when it's all over.  Actually, the treatments will be over mid-January but it will take some time for the big mess left behind to go away.  

WHALE BLUBBER

I don't like radiation.  I don't know what's going on in there, what it's doing, what the side affects are.  I do know that everything tastes and feels like whale blubber, with the exception of Trader Joe's single size microwave popcorn with about 3 tablespoons of melted butter poured over it.  I made brownies - they tasted like beef.  There is just a backdraft that takes over when something goes in my mouth.   It doesn't matter what goes in - the backdraft takes over and everything tastes the same or worse.

This isn't Trader Joe's but I'm sure it's good anyway.
Trader Joe's just fits nicely into one of those Rubbermaid tall containers, holds the butter
and sits in the car and stays put.

The NAILS are Soooooo Bad, I can't believe it.....

The finger nails are so bad, they are growing out but the whole front 2/3 of most of them are rotting faster than they can grow out.  One of them even crumbled.  It's grown out a couple weeks so it's not so ugly but, I can't believe the aftermath of chemo on nails.   Chemo ended in October and here we are in December.  Thank heaven for friends in unique places.



Need help with your crumbling, rotting nails?
Ask a pole dancer.


My lovely, beauiful desk mate at Century 21 Moneyworld (Joanna Chua) gave me her nail man's number and address.   He does "gel" nails - nothing like acrylics or silk wraps.  

They're beautiful, smooth, shiny.  She said the "gel" should work because it's so strong and flexible.  So, I'm going to make an appointment with her nail guy.  Hope it works!      

Yes, Joanna is a gorgeous pole dancer at the Peppermint Rhino, the #1 gentlemen's club in LV.
She makes a mint, looks like it too.  I just love sitting next to her.  I learn so much.  She learns a lot from me too because she doesn't want to be a 62 year old pole dancer.














                                    

RADIATION UPDATE......

Well, it's been a couple weeks, granted broken up by Thanksgiving and weekends.  Still, it's beginning to make the left breast a little sunburned.  I'm using the aloe roll daily, and the spermy, soothing, balm.  So far, I'm not uncomfortable or sore.  I "feeeeeel" some warmth on the left breast.

I do enjoy the treatment itself, rather "spa-ish", with the warm blanket and the TLC given by the nurses.

I have been tattoo'd in spots on the neck, chest, arms, just little "x" marks so they can line my body up in the machine to keep the radiation beams from sawing off a leg.  It's ususally two women, or a man and a woman who almost knead me like a ball of dough until I'm situated correctly on this metal bed with warm blankets, then I CANNOT MOVE, PERIOD!  I moved once just to see what would happen and they yelled from afar, "DON'T MOVE!" - I don't know where they were but they sure weren't near me, maybe in a control room or something.

I'm getting very testy with the whole system.  If they say I can't have a later appointment, I tell them to refer me out to someplace else that can meet my needs, and they magically find the time available for me.  (I'm getting a feeling of favoritism in this place - it is classy and they probably have special people who get special care but I've decided to blast their system open till I'm one of the special people who get special care). 

This system  is such that I could not go back to the surgeon who removed the Port which has been a "f'd" up mess and scaring me.  The surgeon's staff told me that
 the protocol is to go to my primary care physician.  At that moment, the pin came out of the grinade and I unloaded on them that their surgeon did the work, it's a mess, and he's going to be the one to look at it and my primary care physician doesn't care what the hell it looks like; she doesn't even know what it is - so, now we are best friends.  They even ask me what channel I want to watch in the waiting room, and the surgeon I got to see was stellar, he gave me his business card with his cell number and said call anytime I'm uncomfortable.  The Port is really ugly and itchy and sore but that's because my body was traumatized by it, has a very deep bruise, I'm allergic to "bandaids" in that area, and it will just take some time.

You have to YELL and SCREAM to get the basic care.  I have the feeling it's "here", however, it may be all over too.  They just do what they have to do and are not accustomed to being questioned about their work.  And, I'm not real impressed with ANYONE I've encountered during this "journey."

There are sooooo many people in Las Vegas, and soooooo many people in the cancer/chemo/radiation journey.  We're all just ants and the loudest squeeking ant gets the grease.  I'll be glad when this is over and I can get into something else.

Lead in......I went to a Fung Shui class at KB Homes Wedesday.  They put on free seminars all the time for agents and Fung Shui is monsterously big here due to all the asians.  The home builders are building homes with the FS needs or they won't sell.  I found it fascinating, so much so that it shook me to me core and I came home and laid down for a couple hours.  I'm going to continue with the courses.  It's not just about houses, it's about your life, your choices, your decisions on what directions to take and the results, the way you're in-flow with energy and things come easy, or the way you're out-of-flow with energy and kind of swimming upstream.  Very interesting.

EYEBROWS AND LESBIAN HAIR!!

A couple nights ago, I tried to rub smudges off my face and discovered the smudges were hundreds of eyebrows.  Hundreds!  Ahhhhh, I can't believe it!  It makes such a difference, just those little things.

Couple eyelashes coming in too.  I don't know why they're so slow.

Lesbian hair will be my first haircut and it'll probably be Feb '11.

My natural color "now" seems to be pure white.

I will not be as cute as this lesbian.

At my workout the other day, while on a machine with my legs stretched out in front, I noticed a ton of hairs and it was almost embarassing.

Chris, my trainer, said, "Well, Merry Christmas JoAnn."

The Wig

Radiation begins......

Started radiation Wednesday.

Machine broke down Thursday.

Resumed Friday.

I get a CT scan first, then the radiation.

Takes about 13 minutes altogether.

I walk in, hand the guy my ID, slip into

the dressing room, change from the

waist up, go sit in a chair, they call me,

I lay down on the machine, they push

and pull till I'm in there right, then the

bed moves halfway into the donut.

It sounds like I'm laying in the middle

of a kid's choo choo train track. 

It sounds like a little choo choo train is

going round and round and round.

They said the effect is cumulative and I'll get more and more tired as we go. 

This picture is of a different type machine than I go into.  It's close enough.

My appt is 4:20 every weekday.  I cannot wear deodorant or skin lotion.  I said, "Why not."

They said, "Because you'll catch on fire." 

Port was Removed Monday

The Port came out Monday.
It wasn't what I thought.
It was plastic and a "skinny" hose about a foot and a half long, went up my arm and down into my chest.  Phew, glad that stupid thing is gone.

It was kind of interesting.
As I was walking down the corridor to get to the in/out surgery room, everybody kept saying "congratulations, congratulations."  I guess "getting the Port out is a milestone."

Energy is returning. 

Wow, my wig sure looks better than this hair. 

Start radiation next Wednesday.  It'll probably last till the first week of January, then I'm freeeeeee.  Actually,
I'll start a pill that will last 5 years.  I think that's all.

DRUGS......

The Chemo should be out of the system by now.
I'm starting to drop the anti-anxiety drugs by half.  Daytime anti-anxiety drug does nothing so the daytime anxiety must be about gone.  I can take full breaths without yawning; that's sort of my clue.  The week of Chemo, I had to yawn to get a full breath.

Nighttime anxiety is a little more aggressive.  I've cut the drug in half and wake up several times with my mind in a dark place.  It takes concentration to get back to sleep.  The dreams are dark;  I've made a real effort to to recall them - challenge them - if they can be that dark, surely, I should be able to remember them, but, no.  Although, this morning, I did catch one enough to know that it was about work.  Couldn't hang onto it. 

I had already stopped one drug cold turkey because I ran out and was in Long Beach.  The nurse said, "No, no, you can't stop that one cold turkey!".  I said, "Well, I already did and I'm still here."  She said, "Refill, start again and let the oncologist take you off it."  Oh, gee, okay.  I don't get what could have happened by stopping cold turkey.  I'm getting sick of these drugs and want them gone, except the ones I like. 

"Peach Fuzz".....

Finally.....peach fuzz.
After a shower, I usually just keep going, make-up, wig, the usual stuff.  The oncologist's nurse said not to expect hair for a couple months.

This morning, my head looked different so I ran my hands over it.  I always "wash" it and "condition" it and after a shower, I always "brush" it, even though there's nothing there.  I just want to keep it in the habit of the attention. 

My hands felt a complete coating of hair; it's pure white, about 1/4" long, maybe not quite, seems real dense.  It all points forward for now, hope it doesn't stay that way.

I was just happy to see it.

No new eyelashes or eyebrows yet.  Taking care of the ones I have, which are few but there's still something to work off of.


 

Good News - Just had to Share

I know, it's just a toe through a sock.
But it's a chemo toe that rammed it's way through a sock while wearing tennies and tromping through Costco.

This is big.

It means this toe has balls.

The finger nails are coming right along.

I had to clip them this morning.  The front 1/4 is still unstuck to the skin and has to be dealt with tenderly but we are moving right along. 

Visit to the Radiologist

Went in yesterday and got tattoo'd.  They put marks where they want my body part to line up on their metal table so the radiation beams can shoot straight when they flip the switch.  Apparently, the beams shoot from across the room.  I feel so "007" - too bad this stupid computer wouldn't let me drag a photo of James Bond.

They're aiming, well, you know where.   

About the heart, the beams should well miss the heart.  And, everything else.   That's all I really cared about.  They say my breast/armpit/shoulder will be sunburned, nipple won't be happy.  I could give a shit.  I can drink coffee now. 

By January, this part will be done, then I'll be on a pill for 5 years that's supposed to suck the estrogen out of my body.  My body has been sucked of estrogen since I was in my late 40's.  If there is any estrogen left, I'll be real surprised. 

They did a CT scan yesterday, lots of measuring, and will design the plan that will be done daily for about 6 - 8 weeks. 

I had a really cool picture of beams shooting across the room, right into breasts, but my POS computer won't even bring them up.

Well, upon second try, it worked.
I guess they're lungs, not breasts. 
Pretty, huh.

But, that's how it works.  From across the room, they beam the spots. 

Today is Thusday, 10/21.  The last treatment was Monday, 10/11.  I woke up ready to get up and go.  Usually, I have to allow my mind to surface through many layers. Not today.  It takes about a week and a half for the chemo to apparently not attack me anymore.  The deep desire for See's candy is just blah now.  Good thing, it's almost gone.  I'm back to buying Jalapano potato chips - they have the best at the Cancer Institute - go figure.  I don't know if I'll have the Starbuck's desire now.  They do have marvelous potato chips and the clerk said their buttered popcorn is the best.  I'll have to give it a go.

Have to get some vitamin E and some Aloe now; that's ALL they said will work on the radiation burns.

Correct me if I'm wrong - for vitamin E - do I just buy a bottle of capsules and cut off the end and squeeze it out, onto the sore???

Anybody know?

Appointment with the Radiation Dr and Nurse



I'll probably go back 10/25 for the results of her "plan of action."  At that time, I can look at their calendar and pick a time that will be my time till the end of the year.  For those days I miss during the holidays, they tack them onto the end.  It'll either be 6 or 8 weeks, 5 days a week. 

Left Breast Tumor Area Gets Radiation



                         





She said, the more water I drink, the more the chemo will leave the system and the faster the hair and nails will grow back in.  She said Chemo will hang around a long time if I don't drink water.



She also said Aloe is about the only thing that will relieve the symptoms of radiation.  Don't waste money on creams, just use Aloe. 

The whole daily process, from walking in to walking out, should only take 30 minutes, that includes undressing and dressing.  I'll lay on a hard table, arms up over the head and then it only takes a minute for the radiation thing to hit its target.  The only side affects are to the areas themselves and it could be okay or it could be real bad (burning).  I really don't give a shit.  What will be will be, said Doris Day.









They'll target the left lymph node area since that's where one was positive.
They'll also target the area on the shoulder between the shoulder and
the neck because that's where cancer jumps next.

February of '11, I'll return to the Cardiologist to see if the Chemo or
Radiation did
any damage to my heart.  I saw him about 6 weeks ago and he seemed
to think I was navigating pretty well.  The Radiation should stay well
away from the heart. 

That's all I know for now and this computer is making me nuts; can't get anything to stay where I put it, changes colors on me, I just give up on the damned thing.

The Last Treatment - They All Said Happy Graduation

Well, it's finally here.  Today went fast for me, although it dragged for Fred.  We not only had the treatment which takes about 3 hours but also the vitals, the blood draw, and the meeting with the oncologist's nurses. 

They said the green pea thing probably just stopped the blood from flowing in the tips of the nails which made them discolor and separate from the skin.  Fortunately, it's only the front half and it'll grow out.  I just keep layers and layers of polish on them. 

I spent the whole time on the computer this treatment time.  All 3 hours.  Trying to find urban lofts for a lady moving here from Long Beach.  Not easy to find. 



Left hand painted



Right hand not painted,
the front half has
lifted off the skin.





I guess this is the
left hand again.
Oh well.
Painted.



Left hand,
That black spot has grown
way out.  It started half
way back.



So much for sticking your fingers into bags of frozen peas. 

I felt good enough to cook dinner tonight, but after the Neulasta shot tomorrow, may let Fred go to Panda Express.

Tomorrow at 10:30, I have an appointment with the Radiation doctor to get up to speed on that.   According to my Oncologist, the radiation should start the first of November and end by the end of the year. 

My nails want to grow, I can tell.  My hair can start to grow now.  This gastly chemical can fade away.  The sugar craving can go away, although my blood sugar was 117 this morning after eating breakfast which isn't that bad.  My ankles are swollen from the steroids, my cheeks are pretty pink from the steroids and I'm up at 10:00PM writing on this blog because of the steroids.  I have to take two more pills tomorrow, am and afternoon.  That's it.

I'm heading back to Dr Milne for a vitamin drip - although I have to say that Trader Joe's EMERGEN-C has kept my spirits and energy pretty high.  I got turned onto that from a lady in Pilates class who went through chemo too.  She said it worked for her so I bought some. 

Enough for tonight.

Thanks for staying with me during this chemical journey. 

Next stage is recovery.

Then, radiation.  I'll be doing the Milne vitamin drip and the Hyperbaric Oxygen thing to tackle the radiation's attempt to kill me.




My Cousin, Sherry, is Right about the Sugar

The Chemo causes the sugar tooth.  If I fall prey to the sugar tooth, the risk is that when this is over, I'll wind up with diabetes problems.  Fred says it's not a big deal, don't worry about it.  But, 4 quarts of chocolate chip ice cream and Gelato, and a pound of dark chocolate See's in the freezer just isn't normal.

I still think that if our bodies have cancer cells floating around, and we eat sugar, those cancer cells go bonkers on the sugar. 

Oh well, last treatment Monday.

I couldn't find the picture of the peas, so I just threw this one in of Ronald Reagan doing a cigarrette ad.  The peas were a bust.  I think it made things worse.  My nails weren't brown before the peas, now some of them are brown and some are detatched from the skin, in parts.

I'm photographing my nails with about 8 layers of polish, then again naked.  The 8 layers of polish are there for a reason.  It makes the nails more solid.  You'll see.

I have a few eyebrows left and a few eyelashes left.  Still haven't gotten ill.  I can eat anything, but Chees-its seem to be the choice du jour right now. 

We're going to Macaroni Grill tonight and I'll try some wine.  Then, tomorrow, I have to start the steroid prescription.  No coffee, no wine, no nuthin.   This will be the last time taking those blasted steroids. 

Can't wait to get to 24 Hour on Friday, after the last chemo treatment.  Chris will work on resistance training to build the bones up.  Today, he pretty much did that but yesterday I got to put on the boxing mits and he put on the trainers boxing mits and he showed me how to properly box.  It was exhausting but fun - way more fun than the punching bag.  And, no hives. 

They have a blind girl at 24 Hour who works out with her black lab watching all the time.   Mind blowing.

Till Monday.....

COFFEE.....Update....Good News!!!

I've been researching "coffee and cancer" on the Internet. 

Lots of sites say Coffee is a cancer killer.  Cancer hates coffee, and the more the merrier, at least that's what I read all over the Internet last night.   

All over the Internet, latest data 4/10.  Cancer hates coffee.  And, get this, 4 cups a day is not a bad thing.  I couldn't do it but for those who can - bombs away!  They say use honey, I use Agave.  It works twofold.  It's made by bees and is a natural allergy shot.  So, drink coffee with Agave nectar in it and kill two WMD's with one drink.  Or, honey.


I would have had a regular cup of coffee as the photo for this post but my computer wouldn't let me access attachments.  This computer may not make it through this chemo "journey."  It gets stuck and I have to kill it and start over.  Actually, it's an Apple laptop I'm working on that has Internet Explorer.  It's a very good machine but only when it wants to work.  It can take two hours to complete a simple post.  By that time, I'm pissed, not composed like one should be on Chemo.  Had to drop it and go to Pilates and grill the thies and core.  Everything's okay now and the computer is going to live.

I don't know that it's smart to go to the gym and grill body parts.  Michael Douglas just seems to be laying on the couch.  Although, that Johns Hopkins article did say to grill your body to the point you're breathing deeply; that's the oxygen that the cancer hates. 

We saw The Lion King last night; ate at Border Grill.  Nice night.  Cute play.  Border Grill has some dynomite Margarita's but this was not the week so I drank pretty water.  Man, there were some LARGE people at the Border Grill.  Bigger than I've ever seen. 

Well, Well, Well, the cancer cell/seed shows it's ugly litle head....

I "effing" am beginning to get it.  My friend, in LA, mentioned that she still had an appetite for sweets during Chemo.  That stuck with me.

IIIIIIIIII usually don't give a #$%^ about sweets.  I'm a salt animal.  However, this little journey has led me down the See's candy path, the Frappuccino path, the Gelato path, the Haagen Daz path.  And, there's always a piece of candy in my purse.  I didn't get it.  I have always snuck Lays Potato Chips, not See's candy.  Well, it's the cancer cells talking.  Therefore, there must be some in there.  And, I am going to KILLLLLL them!  (I don't really know that there are any in there but to have a sweet tooth where there was none is suspicious).

I Googled cancer and sugar today and it turns out it's a marriage made in heaven.  Cancer cells beg for sugar.  They beg for carbs that convert to sugar.  They like fermentation.  They HATE oxygen.  You CAN achieve the hateful level of oxygen by working out till your breathing goes real deep.  That's what cancer cells hate.   And, that's what kills them.

This is a cancer cell - ain't it pretty?  Can you just imagine it rolling up a $20 bill and snorting some sugar??

These oncologists won't tell us that.  I got this from Johns Hopkins website.  It did say that the standard of care (Chemo and Radiation are effective).  So far, so good.  But, it did say all over the place that SUGAR and CANCER are buddies.  They LOVE each other.  Cancer yells at the body to bring on the sugar.  Oh, and stay away from chocolate, coffee (that may be tough) - go for the green tea.  Stay away from red meats - they ferment and cancer cells just LOVE fermentation - possibly why women are told to keep the wine down.  Fermentation.  

The site said stick to veggies, fruits, fish, chicken - it didn't say anything about cheese but I'd bet it ferments.  Lay low on pork and beef.

I have got to get into that Hyper Barric Chamber for the full-on oxygen.

I did notice that the food & beverage tray at Nevada Cancer Institute does NOT have anything with sugar on it - Fig Newtons - those are practically broccoli.    I've really gotten a heck of a lot of information today. 

To be fair, the site did say that being an unforgiving person ignites cancer cells too.  Also, being angry can do it.  Cancer cells are always floating around inside us; it just takes something to make them multiply so they can be seen.  Then it's too late.

We're going to see the Lion King tonight.  Border Grill for dinner.  What the hell will I eat there?  It's piles and piles of food.  At least it's not sugar. 

The Peas

Two Bags, one for each hand, for AN HOUR, and we'll see if it does any good for the finger nails or not.
Towards the end, it got easier because the ice was gone and the peas were not as cold. 

The Cytoxin is dripping now.  It takas an hour.  Then I get a clean out drip for 20 minutes, then we're outa here.  Only one more to go.  I can't believe it.  It will be interesting to see if the sweet tooth comes to and end.

Chemo Treatment #5

Just got the Benedryl and am starting to feel woozy.
The steroids and anti-nausia are next.  Then, the Taxotere and I'll stick my fingers in the frozen peas.
The peas are in a small cooler with ice.  Kind of like we're medics carrying some torn off body part or something. 

I asked the nurse to advise me when she starts with Taxotere and told her why.  She said she had one patient with real long pretty hair that insisted in wearing a frozen cap on her head during the whole treatment so she could keep her hair.  She would have to keep packing it with ice.  It worked but she had headaches. 

I don't look like this lady in the photo.  Of course, I don't have a great head of hair.  I'm wearing my chemo dress.  Bought it at JJill specifically for chemo day.

It's a very long, orange, sleeveless tank top that's really a long dress.  My head gear is a jungle flowery, very colorful, thing that just slips on my head and it has long tails in the back that I make a big bow out of.  Hoop earrings, a bracelet from JoAnna Chu, who sits next to me at work and some sox.  I also have a big straw hat from Nordi's for the outside.  I am very "uptown" at the chemo place.  I wear the same thing every treatment day.  It's my chemo outfit. 

They say my potassium is a tad low so they're waiting on the Taxotere till they get the okay.  I have to eat more baked potatos and avacados.  Heck, that's easy.  Even Vons has great baked potato soup.  They didn't say I'd have to eat more Haagen Daz vanilla chocolate chip ice cream - they must have forgotten.  Good think I remembered.  They did say more milk.  That's how I take my milk.

For some reason, I have a sweet tooth during this chemo "journey."  Before, I just didn't even think about it.  I was always a salt freak.  Quite the opposite now.  I went to Whole Foods yesterday and bought two pints of Mint Choc Chip Gelato, and one pint of Haagen Daz vanilla chocolate chip ice cream.  Haazen Daz has way more chips, big ones.  But, this particular Gelato has tunnels of chips that you just have to keep digging and digging and pretty soon, it's all gone.  Oh, then it's also time to fix something for dinner. 

Time for the Taxotere - bye.

Fingernails are Becoming a Problem....

This will be tonight's dream, for sure

One of my chemo's is Taxotere.  It's notorious for turning fingernails black, loosening the nail from the skin, and the nail eventually falling off.   I just found this out. I've had polish on my fingernails and toenails for the past week and had no clue.  I took off the fingernail polish today and noticed the loosening part is in the middle of the nail.  It's sort of at the front of the nail too.  At the cuticle, it's growing in ripply but solid.

I found on-line a blog that gave advise about Taxotere fingernails.

I really don't care what anybody thinks

Tomorrow, I'm taking two baggies of frozen peas and a pair of latex gloves.  The blog said to keep the fingernails in the frozen peas during the Taxotere drip which is about 45 minutes.  Consider it done.  The blog said the frozen peas will keep the Taxotere from getting to the blood in the fingers.

Oh, when I make our sandwiches tomorrow morning, I'm going to add the "secret ingredient" used by the chef at the MGM Grand.  On his sandwiches (AND ON HIS FETTUCCINI ALFREDO!!), he sprinkles a little powder out of a Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Package.  On the sandwiches, he just sprinkles it on the mayo.  Tonight, I'm making Fettuccini Alfredo.   Definitely going to use his secret ingredient on that too.
(Whoever is holding that packet of Ranch Dressing doesn't appear to be on Taxotere). 

#5 Blood Draw and Meeting with the Oncologist

9:40 today was the blood draw - 5 viles out of the Port in the arm.  Then they run it through a spinning machine which generates a report.  However, I actually got in to see the oncologist before the blood test was done. 

Everything seems okay.  We went over the "hives" episode.  It's a mystery, although he said do the aggressive working out on the third week and lay low on the first week.  Just too much crap in my system that first week. 

So, I'm set to go for Treatment #5 on Monday.   That evening is also the "support group".  I may go just for the heck of it.  I was so blown away by the griping and wining, I'd kind of like to see who's bald this time.

Feeds Four!

I'm getting good at making the pre-treatment Penne Pasta Casseroles (2) in the cheap-o aluminum tins, the ones that are about 4" wide, 8" long and real tall.  I like to stack stuff in there pretty good.  Trader Joe's 3-cheeses sauce, ground sausage, Provolone slices, grated Mozzarella, olives, just jam it all in there.  Don't cook the Penne all the way though.  It's going to finish off it's cooking in the oven.  I stick two of then in the freezer.  Fred is getting good at putting one in the oven at 350, then before it's done, he takes some out, puts it on plates and finishes it off in the microwave.  It's real gooey.  I have several "chemo-quick recipes". 

After this #5 treatment, I don't think I'll care anymore.  The chemo monster has done it's job and I'm not scared of it anymore.  I even sleep through the night off and on, no waking up to crap dreams that cause crap thoughts that keep me awake all night.  No more fears of getting into vacant houses in 109 degree heat.  After #5, I'll be a lame duck chemo-chick with one more to go.

Quack Quack!!!